I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
