your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
