She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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