Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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