He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
