our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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