Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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