Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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