Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
