it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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