She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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