He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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