I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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