this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
