Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
