Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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