What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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