she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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