apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?