Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
