Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
