wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents