Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
