even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
