Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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