I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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