Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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