Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
