I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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