The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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