He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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