I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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