I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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