You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
