I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My dick has a subreddit
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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