he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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