it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
