he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
