Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
