the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
