He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
