it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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