yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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