things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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