This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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