He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
