Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
