I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize