why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
