Non-Jews are for practice
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
