i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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