whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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