I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
