Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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