Don't make out with my wife yet
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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