Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
