never play flip cup with pint glasses
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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