Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
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and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
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You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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