My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
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I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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