Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he shaved USA in his pubs
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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