he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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