don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
