To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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