her vagine was all disorganized.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
