and she was petting her beer can
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize