I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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